


Along the way ( we fall apart)

by MXlife



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Feelings Realization, Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-09-01 00:42:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20249323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MXlife/pseuds/MXlife
Summary: How long can one keep denying what they feel.





	Along the way ( we fall apart)

Minhyuk sat on the old tattered leather couch, a magazine on his lap open to the most recent fashion trends according to Vogue.  
He flipped through the pages looking at all the clothes but his mind was somewhere else completely. 

He kept thinking of the fight with Jooheon last night.  
They'd both said things that were hateful, they'd both regretted it later. They'd both crawled into each other's arms later finally found some sleep mixed with the tears they'd cried.  
But Minhyuk kept feeling like something was missing. Maybe it was the tiny discomfort he felt whenever Jooheon didn't look him in the eye anymore when he said i love you.  
Maybe it was the way Jooheon didn't want to hold his hand anymore. Maybe it was the way they only ever got intimate when Jooheon was drunk. 

Thinking about these things put a knot in Minhyuk's stomach. But he didn't know what to do, didn't know how to bring it up. He had never been good with confrontation or with getting his heart broken.  
He'd tried it in the past and it had hurt a lot.  
So he let things go on the way they were, hoping that his life wouldn't start falling apart. 

He was absorbed in his thoughts when he was brought back to present by a laugh.  
It was lively and radiant and he looked up to see Jooheon with a wide smile across his face.  
He looked happy, genuinely happy for the first time in so long.  
Minhyuk didn't remember when he'd last seen him laugh that way.  
But it wasn't minhyuk he looked at when he was smiling. He was actually looking at the person standing in front of him.  
Minhyuk at that moment felt invisible.  
Like he wasn't there, like he was someone looking at Jooheon moving towards the other, hugging him close. 

What happened next was like a blue, Minhyuk got up from his seat moving towards the two.  
He stood there for a while that felt like hours, before Jooheon noticed him.  
"Minhyuk! What are you doing here? "  
"Uh.... You'd asked me to come pick you up.... "  
*uh... Yeah... Welll this... Is.. "

"Hey, I'm Hyungwon. " The tall guy said, smiling at Minhyuk.  
"Hi... "  
A nurse then came out to call Hyungwon, and spared them the awkward introductions.  
*******

They were currently driving back.  
And it was eating away at Minhyuk, so he asked before he could think about it.  
"So.... You've never mentioned Hyungwon!. " He said, the nervousness seeping into his voice.  
"There was nothing to mention.... " Jooheon said, sounding a little flustered.  
"Well it didn't look like that... "  
"Honestly Minhyuk... Are you jealous?! Are you fucking jealous right now?! "

"No... No im just asking. You looked really happy to see him! "  
"Yaa, he's a friend I'm meeting after a long time! You know I have a life outside of you?! " Jooheon sounded really irritated right now...  
"Honestly joo... Idk why your getting huffy about this, I asked you a simple question! "  
"Huffy?!!!... " He took a deep breath "you didn't just say Huffy! "  
They were turning into their drove way right now.  
Jooheon slammed the door closed. 

"You know... You can fucking sleep on the couch tody! " Jooheon said, stomping off to their room, slamming the door again.  
And their night ended once again with a fight.  
********

Minhyuk wasn't feeling well, he felt weak and tired.  
It hd been a whole week since he'd had a proper conversation with Jooheon.  
He didn't even have the energy to lift his pen to correct the paper. His eyes dropping from exhaustion.  
He knew he should have been eating and sleeping properly, but he'd just not felt like it.

He was currently sitting in his cabin, distracted by the thoughts of his problems with Jooheon. 

He had been waiting for so long, sipping on the soup in his hands. The cooked meals was served in two plates waiting on their dining tables.  
The door was shoved open and two people walked into the room, tripping over their own feet.  
" Shhhh.. " Jooheon whispered. "We don't want to wake him... "  
He had his arms around Hyungwon.  
"God... Honey! This feels like old times... Remember back then. " Hyungwon whispered into Jooheon's ear.  
They were clearly drunk.  
Minhyuk's heart clenched, but he didn't speak up, because it would make all this real. He didn't want it to be a reality.  
He looked up to see Hyungwon leaning into Jooheon's space, their faces extremely close... He didn't want to look at them, but couldn't look away either. Never in his whole life had he thought he'd be in this situation.  
A moment later, right before their lips would connect, Jooheon moved away, patting Hyungwon on the back and clearing his throat.  
"We should go to bed." He said in a voice sounding more sober.  
"Yeah.... Yeah... " Hyungwon said moving away.  
Minhyuk was still frozen in the same spot when Jooheon walked back.  
He leaned against the wall outside their guest bedroom.  
Releasing a big sigh Jooheon moved towards their bedroom.  
Minhyuk waited for Jooheon to go to the bathroom, then he got up and left the house.  
He couldn't sleep there tonight.  
By the time he came back next morning he felt exhausted both physically and mentally. But the worst part was Jooheon didn't even ask him where he'd gone.  
Hyungwon was long gone, and the plates of food had been thrown out, judging from what he saw in the dustbin.  
His heart ached.  
He felt non existent. 

The next few days consisted of Minhyuk waiting with cold food till he finally gave up and went to bed, Jooheon stumbling in drunk.  
He was pretty sure his boyfriend was developing a drinking habbit, and it hurt to think Jooheon couldn't bare to sleep next to him in the same bed if he wasn't drunk.  
He tried confronting him once, leading to another argument, one where they both said things they couldn't take back. 

"You've started to disgust me Jooheon! You really of whisky and you can't even look me in the eye while making excuses anymore?! What the fuck are you doing to yourself. " Minhyuk said, running high on emotions, not realising what he'd said.  
"We'll, have you considered that maybe I can't be in your presence if I'm not drunk? Maybe I'm so tired of you had your bullshit that I need to escape! "  
"My bullshit? My fucking bullshit? I wait for you every day! I cook, I clean, I hold down a steady job! While you keep running around going to parties and hanging out with your friends!". Minhyuk said, shouting out.  
" You don't get to do that?! Who was supporting us when you didn't have a job huh? I gave up my fucking dreams for you. I got a job, I paid the fucking bills, I could have left you Lee Minhyuk! You were nobody when we met, dancing around like a fucking hussy, charming your way into my pants! If it weren't for my breakup I wouldn't have even looked at you a second time.  
So don't give me that bullshit about waiting up. I never asked you to." Jooheon said. He was obviously drunk, but his words cut through Minhyuk.  
His heart was bleeding on the floor, but what Jooheon said next destroyed whatever strength he had.  
"Why don't you do what you want, and I'll do what I want huh? For the first time in a long time I feel happy, with Hyungwon. He's finally back, and I've been waiting for so long. I don't need you Minhyuk, your suffocating me, let me live my life okay... You don't need to wait anymore. "  
He'd looked at Minhyuk, but he didn't see how broken he'd left him.  
Jooheon had then walked out of the house, no doubt going to Hyungwon.  
And just like that once again, Minhyuk chased to exist. 

After that Jooheon had stopped coming home, and it was around then Minhyuk lost his motivation to eat, sleep, do anything.  
These ugly thoughts kept running through his mind. 'Hussy' that was what Jooheon had called him, was he really holding him back, was Jooheon so unhappy that he had drank himself silly everyday to be in the presence of Minhyuk.  
Whta was worse than being hated by someone you loved.  
That was the entire problem wasn't it, Minhyuk couldn't stop loving him, even after everything was said, Minhyuk still loved him.  
His mid spiralled again as he started thinking about it all.  
He felt black sports in his vision, and driffted of to unconsciousness.  
The last thing he remembered was Jooheon saying "you don't have to wait anymore... "  
********

Minhyuk woke up to white walls surrounding him. He could hear the dripping and the faint noise of air conditioning.  
Looking around he realised he was in a hospital room.  
He lifted his hand and looked at the multiple needled playing his arms.  
He was wearing a hospital gown, and understood why it felt so airy.  
He was trying to move a little so he could sit up when someone walked into the room holding a bowl in his hands.  
He hadn't seen this someone in so long. His heart warmed at the smile the other gave him.  
"Hyunwoo? " Minhyuk called out in a raspy voice,  
"What are you doing here? "  
"Well, the hospital called me... Looks like I'm still your emergency contact. " He walked closer to the bed. Placing the bowl of soup down on the side table he moved to sit beside Minhyuk.  
" What did you do to yourself Minnie? " He said running a hand through Minhyuk's hair.  
Minhyuk leaned into the touch, feeling himself break at the affection.  
"Well, I didn't have someone like you to look after me.... " Minhyuk managed to say through a choked up throat.  
"They told me you were dehydrated and starving. That your body was on the brink of giving up... Really Minhyuk, not even water?! For four whole days?! What the fuck?! "  
"I.... I didn't realize.... I'm sorry.... I'm so sorry.... " And Minhyuk felt himself cry again.  
Only this time Hyunwoo was there to hold him through it. It only made him cry harder.  
After crying for what felt like hours, Minhyuk told Hyunwoo everything. And they took some time to catch up.  
Later that evening when Minhyuk was getting ready for dinner, opting to eat orally, Jooheon walked into the room looking a little worried.  
Inside he saw Minhyuk sitting comfortably with a bed table placed across his lap. Hyunwoo sat by his side, sipping coffee and engaging light conversation while they watched a cartoon on the tv.  
Minhyuk looked better than the last time he'd seen him, his checks had colour again and his eyes sparkled when he smiled.  
The sparkle dimmed however when he looked at Jooheon.  
A moment later he asked Hyunwoo to leave the room.  
"Hyunwoo would you excuse us for a while. I think Jooheon and I need to talk. " Minhyuk said in a serious voice.  
Once Hyunwoo had left the room, Jooheon spoke.  
"Minhyuk... I-"  
"Good to see your not drunk. " Minhyuk said, before Jooheon could say anything.  
Jooheon instantly felt guilty. There was a pause where Jooheon was deciding what to say.  
"I'm really sorry Minhyuk... I didn't mean what I said that day... " Jooheon said at last.  
Minhyuk inhaled sharply, looking to Jooheon. His eyes had started watering.  
"I believe you... I believe you Jooheon, but you and I both know it's not true.. " Minhyuk said, he had a small smile on his face, it was a sad one.  
"I know, I think I've always known. You never fully loved me, you never fully dedicated yourself to our relationship.  
There's no point in forcing ourselves to feel something we don't. " Minhyuk sighed.  
"As much as I've felt hurt and humiliated, I think I was also subconsciously holding on to you because I thought I was going to lose everything.  
In the end I did lose everything, but I got back someone who means so much to me. "  
Hearing Minhyuk's words, Jooheon felt a sting in his heart.  
Was this what Minhyuk had felt when Jooheon had ignored him?  
"Whatever we had Jooheon, has fizzled out and honestly I'm tired of waiting. So I won't anymore. And I won't burden you by doing it either. "  
This time when Minhyuk looked at Jooheon he had a genuine smile on his face.  
"Don't blame yourself for what has happened to me, this is my own doing, and thankfully I have someone to knock some sense into me."

Jooheon felt lighter, he moved towards Minhyuk and hugged him tightly.  
Minhyuk wrapped his arms around Jooheon. It instantly comforted him.  
"This doesn't mean we won't be friends right? " Jooheon asked inhaling minhyuk's scent.  
"No joo, it'll take a while, but we'll not stop being friends. " Minhyuk said breaking their embrace.  
He leaned in to kiss Jooheon on the forehead.  
"You've always been so hot headed and huffy! " Minhyuk said.  
"Don't call me huffy. " Jooheon said pouting " You know I don't like it. "  
" Well, get used to it, I don't have to charm you to get into your pants anymore! " Minhyuk said.  
" Hey... That was a low blow... " Jooheon said.  
"Well deal with it, I'm not over what you said. " Minhyuk said pouting.  
" Minhyuk you know I didn't mean it... " Jooheon said.  
"Yeah... Well I hold grudges so get used to it. " Minhyuk laughed.  
And just like that they were back to joking.  
Jooheon realised then, that Minhyuk had always looked after him, made him feel lighter. Even when he was the one paying all the bills while Minhyuk finished college.  
He'd always comforted Jooheon.  
Somewhere along the way Jooheon's guilt for not being able to do the same for Minhyuk had made him bitter, and he'd taken it out on the person who made him happy. 

"I love you Min.... What I mean is.... " Jooheon tried to find the words.  
"I know jooheon.... I know. " Minhyuk smiled patting his hand.  
******

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I'm back with more angst.  
Hope you don't hate my writing.  
I'm new here, and I haven't proof read my work. If there are any mistakes please excuse me. 
> 
> I love Minmin! Ping me if you wanna be mutuals! Or if you wanna talk, or whatever:)


End file.
